day one of three
of full shifts…
eh…
almost died
with a suspected
stomach flu
nauseated at night
headache
ate medicine
going sleep soon though
well i had a thought a few days ago
i penned it down on a cardboard
in hotside one day
but kind of lost
but yea i’ll try to recall
if we, christians, claim to know god
to have seen his glory during conversion
to know that god is good
god is merciful,
to see god’s grace
and hand work in our lives,
how then can we say
or act as if
we didn’t know god
we didn’t need god
we don’t want god in our lives
how then knowing all of god
not desiring god
but wanting everything
but god
we say it’s rebelion
we say it’s our natural self
we say just let me go my way
i think it’s just excuses
some of which i had used
we say that we need god
we say that we want god
we say that we desire god
and yet the same time
reject his grace
reject his offer
to fill us
by choosing else but Him
it’s like saying we are hungry
and we have a perfect meal right in
front of our faces
and yet
prowiling into the garbage
eating garbage thinking
that it tastes better
humans
how stupid
me, how more stupid i am
i thank dad
that i despise
woman who sell themselves cheap
and am disgusted
at man who buy into the cheapness
i mourn for myself when such happens
i mourn for others when such happens
